Teh Wozzinator

Wow Wozzell! The rhyming was realy good! You should be a poet my man! The imagery was stop on and I coudn't sense any flaw with it at all, well ...

Thanks for the comments! Especially the good ones... I've added a new stanza in and edited another. I'm working on the one stanza that was awkward. ("Without a second glance ...

I realize that "Sharks" isn't much like the others, but I'm keeping it up anyways.... Thanks for all the good comments! lol And TickledPink... Do you have a comment on ...

So here's the original version of the poem: War (temporary title): a Poem In the midst of a war, I knelt alone, And felt a friend warrior’s hand… ‘Twas cold ...

Haha, wow, thanks! But about your haiku... Your second line is eight syllables, it's supposed to be seven! lol! Get rid of the "so" in it, and yours would be ...

There wasn't really any rhythm... but this was awesome! I agree that somehow, it seemed really good, even if it was different. Really cool. No edits! Keep writing, definitely!! Teh ...

Oh man... Other people got here before me, so I guess it's pretty much useless to write a crit that's exactly like two others, eh? Well, when part two comes ...

Hi Woz! The first thing I noticed was your rhyming scheme, and overall, I think it kind of weakened the impact of the poem. The rhymes are too far apart ...

Haha, Yazra at work? That'd be kinda cool. I like the story, but I do agree Chapter one isn't as good as the prologue. No time for a good review, ...

Thank you!

Chapter four has... Names Explanations And a really cool trial. lol. By the way, Coconut, I highly disagree with you about the thoughts. I like stories that have them, and ...

Don't worry, I'm editing. But with all these editors and nine chapters it's hard. I've edited chapters one through...five? But I'll still add more edits as I get them. Thanks ...

Ummm... What the...heck? This really confused me. And I don't get the joke. ???????? Teh Wozzinator

Umm...the car that they're riding in is Dante's Ferrari, so he's taking Bill in the car, and Brandon gets left on the side of the road. And the car behind ...

I think your descriptions of the two men were just fine, since it sets them in contrast. I loved the way you talked about their timing and so on and ...